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first time always comes apprehensions
February 23, 2008
jumbled thoughts # 1
the worst has come. the hero i thought i would be didn’t surface. i’m the one needing saving.
it’s surprising how resilient people can be. i thought the news of my ***** getting pregnant would be a turn for the worse in our home life, disrupting everything. my parents have accepted it. everyone has accepted it. except me.
how long has it been since my ***** and i last talked? i cannot remember. all i feel is the hurt and the anger for the things she has done. the things she shouldn’t have done. the things i wanted to do but didn’t because i’m… hmm. what am i? scared? inhibited? controlled? maybe i’m all of these things. or maybe i’m just too nice for my own good.
i need saving because i don’t know what to do or how to react in this kind of situation. i don’t know what will happen in the long run. i’m scared of what the unforseen future might bring for us all. sometimes when i ‘m not busy, my thoughts go back to this. and i get mad all over again.
[if doesnt really matter who that certain person is] i hate her… yes, i really do…]


